Thursday, December 24, 2009

No I do not want to say yes. No I do not want to say no. No I do not want to give you my opinion, no I do not want to not give you my opinion and no I do not want to be negative. I just want to say no. No to you, no to everything and no to me. No. No. No.

Unless you want to give me a cookie.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I Have the Power!

Last night I had trouble staying asleep. So after a while of trying, we decided to start over and turned the light on. I was still pretty worked up, so I decided to play with my toys for a bit until I calmed down. During that time Mom went for ice cream and Dad stayed to play with me. I did everything that I could to calm down. I rode my zebra, played with blocks, jumped into my ball pit and finally settled in on rolling one of my push toys back and forth across the floor.

All of this Dad seemed to approve of. So much so that he had gone to just lying on his back in the middle of the room. And it was from there that I heard his say, "NO!" as I ran my push toy across the wall and not the floor. Sure it's wood and heavy so it probably would have made marks, but I wasn't thinking about that at 11:30pm. Sometime during the end of his "NO!" I decided to spin around to show him that I was stopping, except I slipped. I must have hit the edge of the carpet, a wind must have caught me, or we could have had a small earthquake - I can't be too sure.

What happened next was both hilarious and sad. As I spun I took the push toy with me and as I fell with the toy, the weight of all of that wood and metal came full force around over my head and directly down on Dad. Now here is the funny part: Dad made a sound that I can only explain as the sound you would hear from a sick Yak getting kicked in the butt. I would say that he screamed like a girl, but I don't know of any female, outside of pregnant rhinoceroses, that could sound like that. So as he curled into a ball trying to repress words that he said he would teach me when I turn five, I realized that this whole incident had a down side: I didn't get it on film.

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Power of No

Not being able to fully articulate the exact verbiage that I would like to express during any particular situation, I’ve had to resort to allowing others to guess the exact desire in which I am having a trouble conveying. Thus I have found that the word "no", said ad nauseam, is my new modus operandi. It is not that I wish to be this obstinate; I just don’t have choice in the matter.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Goofy Individual

I am the very model of a goofy individual,
My movements are quite comical, while still very whimsical,
I’m quite adept at funny faces; many books I have read.
From reading to swimming classes, play is what I do instead.

I am the symbol of the proper childhood etiquette
Those who know me often praise me, I will happily admit
But I’m still humble because I have yet to learn arrogance
Even singing this to me increases my intelligence.

My learning process is still challenged chronologically
So puzzles to my Rock-a-Stack, all problems handled logically;
My learning is a daily thing, new memories I do obtain
If I had a fault it would be that my parents are clearly insane.

He beats on nearly everything because he’s awfully musical
He excels at mostly everything as long as it’s quite lyrical.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Off-Broadway Obstinance

The drama is real, the action is intense and tantrums will blow your mind. My full developed opinion is now showing at multiple locations. Don’t hesitate; run don’t walk, to your nearest patient expression - because you’re going to need it. Remember: this is a limited time offer that is only available for the next couple of years and will decrease in intensity as I learn to communicate and cope with my surroundings. So get your tolerance in check, compose that coolness and find your happy place, because this battle is going to be awesome!!!

Sunday, July 26, 2009


This last weekend I attended my second Bele Chere Festival Asheville, NC while staying at the Pines Cottages with Mom, Dad, Uncle Jahred, Aunt Erica and my cousin Kaiden. Last year, at five months old, I was not able to do much. During my first visit I was unable to walk or communicate; so I just took in what I could and left the rest for a future date.

It’s been a year now and things have changed. I can now walk, run and communicate, mostly through sign-language, and, most importantly, experience much more than I could a year ago. This year I ate everything that I could, walked around in heavy crowds, danced to music, saw all sorts of people and tried to grok as much of the art as I could. On Saturday we hiked the Craggy Gardens Trail (I only had to be carried a couple of times) and I hiked the last half a mile up Mount Mitchell, the highest point east of the Mississippi, all by myself. On Sunday we visited Chimney Rock Park and played in the Rocky Broad River.

Mom said that she is not sure if we are coming back next year because a lot of things could change between now and then. Either way, I will always look forward to crossing milestones, especially when I get to do it in familiar places with lots of family around me.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Experiences & Adventure

There is a specific difference between experiences and adventure. With an experience you build on previous knowledge. It is finding something slightly different, realizing it as different and allowing it affect your choices later in life. An adventure goes beyond a simple experience. An adventure expands your knowledge in ways you might never have imagined. Or to put it to an analogy, if your mind were a house, experiences would be upgrades, repairs and general maintenance (fresh paint, a new deck…) whereas an adventure could add something like a new floor, expanded garage or even a guest house.

While both are important, your experiences will always greatly outweigh adventures, for the simple fact one cannot continuously expand horizons without stopping, or at least slowing, to comprehend where you are. You must keep the house up or the new additions won’t be worth as much as they should.

Being that I am only 17 months old, I have a steady stream of both experiences and adventures. A simple trip to the grocery store, a weekend away or a new toy/book adds to my understanding of the world around me. And the more I understand now, the more I have to expand throughout the rest of my life. You see, knowledge is one of the wonderful things in life that works exponentially. The more you learn, the more it teaches and inspires you to learn more. In other words, you must continuously build on what you know to know what you don’t know.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Haiku Debut

A note on whining
My voice is getting louder
And not declining

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Please Shop Through My Upromise Account

Have you been to the drugstore recently? How about a grocery store? Shopped online? Wouldn't you feel better if you knew that some of that money was going to help the world become a better place. Well now it can! Upromise is a free service that helps members save for college by earning 1-25% on qualified every-day spending with America's leading companies nationwide. There are over 8,000 restaurants, more than 21,000 grocery stores, online shopping with more than 600 retailers, travel, moving and much more. To date, over $19 billion through some 530 different college savings plans.

So all of your purchases from Target, to Barnes & Noble and even eBay can help me save for college if you purchase them using my Upromise link. That's right, at no extra cost to you, on just about all of your online purchases, you can help me save money for my 529 College Savings Fun by just clicking on this link and selecting the company you wish to shop through. It's the same stores that you would normally buy through, but if you use the link they match anywhere from 1% to as high as 25% of the total. So no matter what you buy using this link, it helps me save for college. I'll put the link at the bottom left of my web page and hope that when you need to purchase something online, you will remember my link and help me build for a solid future.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Announcing My 529 College Savings Plan

A 529 Plan is an education savings plan operated by a state or educational institution designed to help families set aside funds for future college costs. In most plans, your choice of school is not affected by the state your 529 savings plan is from. Savings from these Plans can be used for tuition, books or housing both nationally and internationally.

With contributions from several family members, my Great Grandmother Virginia especially, I now have my own 529 Plan. If you would ever like to donate any amount to it, you can do so by clicking on the link in this post or at the bottom left of my website. The link will always be there and the contributions are directly deposited into my 529 Plan. Contributions are always deeply appreciated and have the wonderful benefit of being both a perfect gift for any occasion and an investment in my future.

Friday, April 24, 2009


Please allow me to apologize for what some people may see as an overtly rude gesture on my behalf. You see, ever since I have learned to communicate, albeit in a most substratal way, I feel the need to inquire as to what it is that I am seeing. What is the proper name, how it is used and why is paramount to my own communicative development. So if you see me coming your way, lacking all etiquette, pointing at an object and saying the word “that?,” please understand that I am simply caught up in a moment of educational fervor and in no way mean any disrespect.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Over the last couple of weeks my parent have drug me all over Southern California. We’ve been to Hollywood for a movie opening, fancy restaurants to meet celebrities, China Town, Olvera Street, the Los Angeles Arboretum, Alhambra’s Farmers Market, Sea World, the Sand Diego Zoo, Wild Animal Park, hiking in the Sierra Madres and to almost every beach and city in-between Los Angeles and San Diego. Yesterday we flew back into Atlanta where we will stay for a day visiting relatives before driving home and packing for next week trip to Holden Beach, NC for Easter.

While I really enjoyed California, I’m not sure that I could live there. The weather is too nice, the beaches are wonderful and there is always something to do. In short, what would I complain about? Traffic – too young to care. Earthquakes – getting shaken about it fun. Politics – I haven’t made up my mind about any of it. Nope, I just didn’t see anything in California that would make me cranky. But maybe, just maybe, if we go back to California this summer, I’ll find something.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Walk This Way

Anywhere is walking distance, if you have enough time and patience. That is why I am working as hard as I can to master the basics. So far I've been able to get myself up, walk several paces at a frantic pace and then look for somewhere to hold on to until I’m ready to take off again. In time I will learn to walk, run, stumble, drive and fly, but I will never lose sight of the reason for my journey, or miss a chance to see a rainbow on the way.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

A Nut Case

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) November 7, 2008 - Contrary to widespread recommendations, the consumption of peanuts in infancy is associated with a low prevalence of peanut allergy, the results of a new study suggest.

"Our study findings raise the question of whether early introduction rather than avoidance of peanut in infancy is the better strategy for the prevention of peanut allergy," write researchers in the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology… (read more here)

Over the last couple of months my parents have slowly introduced me to all kinds of new types of foods. I’ve had everything from cactus leaves to lobster and even an occasional peanut product. So when my parents gave me a small piece of bread with peanut butter for lunch today, they didn’t think much of it. Personally, I was delighted - so much so that I ended up with my face covered in yummy peanut butter.

About 15 minutes later, after my Dad drove like a madman to drug store to get a bottle of Benadryl, we were headed to the local emergency room. About an hour later, after the hospital staff had run a bunch of test and given me a steroid to suppress immune functions, we heading back home. About a couple hours later, I'm calmed down, feeling better and headed to bed for the night.

My sensitivity doesn’t seem to be too serious and Dad’s promised me that when I’m a little older I can go to an allergist to see if and how I’m allergic to peanuts. Until then, it’s probably best that I don’t eat or wear them.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Sharing Bread

Man evolved as a pack animal, living together in tight groups, knowing that his strength is greater when those around him are strong. Capuchin monkeys are inclined to share food with almost any individual who helped them obtain the food. Gorillas share food in return for grooming. Wolves share food at carcass locations based on a complex variety of ecological and social factors. Even ants share food, but probably based on quite different urges and motives than those that make chimpanzees or people share food.

It was with this in mind that, as soon as I learned the basics of feeding myself, I have tried to share whatever I am eating with whoever in my extended pack happens to be around me - most of the time they accept, even if just to thank me for my offer. In return, I have learned much about the fine art of sharing and the cultural norms associated with offering food. In order to help those who come behind me, I offer the following list of acceptable vs. not acceptable sharing.

AcceptableNot Acceptable
Giving someone something off of my own plateGiving someone something off of someone else's plate
Offering someone the first biteOffering someone my pre-chewed first bite
Trying to help someone drink from my cupTrying to help someone drink all of their own cup at one time
Dropping an occasional piece to the dogAttempting to retrieve that piece from the dog

I hope that my short list helps those of you still trying to understand the proper sharing Do's and Don'ts. Good luck and happy sharing.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Object Falling from Rest

As an object falls from rest, its gravitational potential energy is converted to kinetic energy. So if an object is dropped from a height of 1 meter (about the height of the bed), then the velocity just before impact is 4.427 meters per second. If the mass is .2 kg (about the weight of Dad’s phone), then the kinetic energy just before impact is equal to 1.96 joules, which is of course equal to its initial potential energy. Of course the accuracy of this calculation depends upon the assumption that air friction is negligible and because the height of drop from the bed is small compared to the radius of the earth.

Thus you can see my never ending fascination with objects, such as Dad’s phone, being dropped off of the bed, table, chair, couch, crib… whatever. So if you see be dropping something from a height, please understand that it is not because I’m an incredible annoying brat who won’t allow his parents to enjoy a single meal without making them fetch and yell at the same time. Instead, try to remember that it’s because I’m fascinated by the complexities of Newton’s First Law.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My First Birthday

First of all I would like to thank everyone who came or sent a present, my parents for running around like mad people and Tracy and Trevor from The Victoria Tea Room, who went above and beyond in setting up, catering and hosting my birthday. Thank you cards are now mailed out and I hope that all of you had as much fun as I did.

Also, I would thank those of you who came to The Georgia Aquarium for my second birthday party. Pictures of both events are now online and our group photo should be in the mail soon. For those of you who have not gone, the Georgia Aquarium is the world’s largest aquarium and current houses 100,000 animals of 500 different species, three whale sharks and five beluga whales. I highly recommend it!

Lastly, I would like to thank my Mom who was gracious enough to be almost completely overlooked as my birthday buddy.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Symphony

Music is omnipresent in our house and I’ve learned to bop and sway in time. Outside of the house I’ve been to a few music performances, a large drum jam in Asheville, NC, and a one open air rock concert. This last Friday night Mom, Dad, Grandma Joan and Grandpa Edgar took me to the 17th Annual Celebration of Youth Concert at Anderson College. There was a full orchestra, made up of people of all ages, three different choirs from different schools and grades, and a variety of music ranging from Edward Elgar to the Beatles. Between the diverse types of music, to the people clapping in the crowd, the whole thing was an experience that I greatly enjoyed. My only complaint was that it started at 8pm, my usual bedtime. Still, I made it until a little after intermission before I just couldn’t hold out any more. I hope to go to more of these, at an earlier time, as soon as my schedule allows.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Early to Rise

Wide awake
New day
Mom asleep
Pull her hair
Dad asleep
Squeeze nose
Rolls over
Play with blinds
Raised by mom
Morning traffic
School busses
Pressed face
Funny cold
Parents rise
Good morning

Monday, January 12, 2009

Star Dust

For Christmas my Grandmother Karen bought me a Shining Star Cream Bear, which allowed me to choose the name of a star.

So I now have a star, specifically Ursa Major 8h 50m 12.18s 58 7' 59.10", named after me. And although my Dad is a bit skeptical about the validity of an International Star Registry, Mom says that we can visit it if we are ever in the neighborhood.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Magic Fingers

I believe that I have found how to work everything in the universe. The trick was simple and right in front of me the whole time. It was so obvious that I missed it for the last 10 months of my life. But finally, I have reached an understanding and now know how to use the available tool whenever I need something accomplished.

In the spirit of advancing intellectual ability, I will now share with you the exact way to operate any piece of machinery, how to identify any form of matter, or summon any food stuff known to man. The, dare I say, trick is to simply grab someone else’s finger and have them do the work. For instance, to get the piano to play or the water in the sink to turn on, just grab a nearby finger and touch that finger to the said item. Immediately, stuff starts to happen. It is as if the finger knows through decades of experience exactly how to operate whatever it is that it is touched to.

So if you find yourself confronted with an obstacle that is unbeknownst to you, just reach for the nearest available finger and have it work its magic for you.