Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Magic Fingers

I believe that I have found how to work everything in the universe. The trick was simple and right in front of me the whole time. It was so obvious that I missed it for the last 10 months of my life. But finally, I have reached an understanding and now know how to use the available tool whenever I need something accomplished.

In the spirit of advancing intellectual ability, I will now share with you the exact way to operate any piece of machinery, how to identify any form of matter, or summon any food stuff known to man. The, dare I say, trick is to simply grab someone else’s finger and have them do the work. For instance, to get the piano to play or the water in the sink to turn on, just grab a nearby finger and touch that finger to the said item. Immediately, stuff starts to happen. It is as if the finger knows through decades of experience exactly how to operate whatever it is that it is touched to.

So if you find yourself confronted with an obstacle that is unbeknownst to you, just reach for the nearest available finger and have it work its magic for you.

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