My Teeth Are Coming, Run For Your Lives!!!

My soon-to-be teeth
Are causing me grief,
They make me cry and whine.
But soon they'll be in,
The start of a grin,
And then I’ll be feeling just fine.

I Have Found My Voice and it is Loud

Sure I can’t speak in words that you people can understand, but my linguistic prowess is finally coming of age. This last week I have learned to conquer at least two octave ranges, while coming close to a third. With any luck, I’ll be able to break glass with my voice sometime over the next month.

The upside to this (and it’s all upside for me) is that my parents finally are beginning to understand what it is that I want. They were previously horrible at comprehending my simplest vocal commands, but have since flowered in their ability to grasp my needs. I will have them completely trained in no time. Hopefully, before I have to learn any words or sign language.

Take the video below as an example. I clearly am expressing some displeasure about something. To an intelligent linguistically-able human being, it should be quite clear. What I am saying is so simple that even a baby can understand. But here, for those of you who can somehow read, but lack the ability to get my fully functional vocal prowess, this is what I am saying:

"To whoever is working that camera, I have soiled myself and have not yet developed the manual dexterity to properly replace my diaper with the grace and dignity that I deserve. So please put down the camera and change me, at once. If you fail to do so, I will reiterate my complaint at an increased decibel until your small mind is able to grasp my dilemma. Thank you."

Goodbye

This last week I left my first home in Saginaw, MI. With it I left my friends, who have become my family. Tom, Kate, Elizabeth, Amy, and all of the people who came in and out of my life during the first 20 weeks are now thousand miles away. It may be that I don’t remember each and every face or smile, but I will always remember the love and kindness directed at me. At any age, every positive thing adds to the richness of life. And friends - good friends - provide a depth that is unobtainable alone. To this end, I say goodbye to certain individuals who have been there since my beginning and have had a heavy influence on me.

Tom, thank you for letting me fall asleep on you. You are extraordinarily comfy and I will miss your funny faces. Even when I was forced upon you by schedules and opportunity, you handled it gallantly. Kate, you were always there to entertain me and tried to get me to be happy as much as possible. If I ever have the honor of having you put me to bed again, Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty. Elizabeth and Amy, without you, my parents would have left me alone in the house in a cardboard box, with only Lucy to look after me. You kept me safe, comfortable, and contented. I will hold on to your blankets and smiles for my whole life. And will forever be in your debt.

Are You Going to Eat That?

Food envy can be a nasty thing. Fortunately, I’m only just now starting to get it. Take yesterday for example. My parents made pancakes for breakfast and ate them in front of me. There was real maple syrup, fresh squeezed orange juice, blueberries and strawberries. At lunchtime they held me there in front of the roasted pig at the neighborhood BBQ, picked out choice parts, sides, and then sat me on the table to watch them eat once again. Dinner was at the Greek Festival. They had gyros, stuffed grape leaves, spanikopita, saganaki, paximadia, and baklava. They ate all of this over the course of a couple hours in front of me! Is there any wonder why I drool so much?

We have talked it over and we’ve decided that I am to occasionally get to try some solid foods. They see no reason to put my food in a blender, as I don’t quite have the coordination to move solid food from the front of my mouth to the back for swallowing. They told me that that I should make the transition to solid foods gradually and that I’m to try to stay on breast milk for as long as possible. I was also “informed” that I had to meet four criteria before they would do more then hold a piece of watermelon in my mouth for me to gum on. So before I get any solid foods I have be able to hold my head in a steady, and upright position, and sit without support. The other two things, eating at regular intervals and being interested in what they are eating, I soooo have down.

Arrested Development

I’m now 17 weeks old and I’ve finally started to roll over. Within hours I plan on running, climbing, and, maybe, flying. We’ll see.

While developing as fast as I can to spite the enjoyment of my parents, I’ve noticed that most of you people have no idea what happens when as a baby such as myself develops. So as a refresher, here are a couple things that are happening to me now and will happen to me in the near future:

I can now distinguish several hundred different spoken words; many more than are in my parents native language. My brain has organized itself around the words heard most frequently and is beginning to create an auditory map to process the languages efficiently. And even though there is no research to indicate that one kind of music or another promotes early brain development, I do respond positively to music. Mostly, to my parents chagrin, opera.

While I am now living in a predictable world that has some order to it, I am also able to sleep for longer periods of time, can go longer between feedings, and am establishing a new schedule for eating, sleeping, and experiencing the world. My blossoming mental abilities are helping me organize what I see, hear, smell, touch, and taste. When I am in comfortable and secure surroundings, I am especially responsive to people, objects, and new experiences.

My parents help by holding me so that the world has a sense of predictability. They talk back to by coos, bubbles, and random attempts at conversation, but have yet to fully grasp the complexity in which I can communicate. Hopefully, in time, their brains will evolve enough to be able to communicate with me.

Over the coming months I expect to keep moving up in the world. At six months I’ll be able to switch a toy from one hand to another, my speech should become clearer to my slow parents, and I should be able to sit up on my own. I’m not rushing any of these, and if I don’t meet some and happen to do others early, that’s all right too.

By nine months I should be turning pages in board books, looking at familiar objects and people when named, imitating others, sort-of crawling, and my vocabulary will expand a bit. At twelve months I will finally be able to meaningfully use certain simple words, pulling myself to stand up and cruising along furniture. I might even stand alone and take several independent steps, but I’ll wait and see how I feel about it.

A Time to Play

Since my mom and dad found out I was on my way they began preparing for me. In some ways they were like many new parents researching all the latest equipment and buying cribs, car seats, strollers and the like. Where they are a little different is that they went way overboard on buying books (I have a better library than some elementary schools) but neglected to buy me any toys. Thanks to Tom and Kate I at least had a few stuffed animals when I came home from the hospital.

Before I only had my play mat and my vibrating seat to keep me occupied but over the last several weeks my parents have finally gotten their act together and bought me some toys. It took them this long because they have to research everything. They wouldn’t dare to purchase something for me to play with on a whim because apparently it could kill me. These toys (among others) will help me learn, explore the world and understand new concepts as I find them. My favorite toy now is “Sophie” the giraffe. I like her because she squeaks, has great contrasting colors and tastes so good. I also have two new rattles that I like. One is made of cherry wood that has a matching teething ring made of maple and the other is a soft green frog. With any luck my parents will do a little less research and a little more buying of toys.

Communication Breakdown

I do not understand what is wrong with the people around me. I speak in a language that should be both universal and easily comprehended by all. My body movements match my speech and clearly exemplify the point that I am trying to get across. There is no excuse whatsoever for anyone who cannot easily and intrinsically understand what I am saying. And yet, no one seems to. All they do is coo, smile, make funny sounds, and stand there looking at me as if they themselves have never once attempted to communicate with another living creature and therefore could not be expected to even chance a guess as to what it is that I am saying. It is extraordinarily frustrating.